It was late Wednesday night. I couldn't sleep. So I started scrolling through some on-demand movies on my smartphone, and I found Chasing Amy, which I hadn't seen since high school.
Earlier in the day, I had ran into my old friend Johnny, who, interestingly enough, I also hadn't seen since high school. We both happened to be buying smoothies at Xtreme Juice, which is a store I also frequented during my pre-college days, and where a couple of my teenage classmates had worked as well.
I guess Wednesday was a retro, throwback, warp-in-time day. Or maybe I'm just painting it that way in my mind so this blog will come across as deep, insightful, and super-synchronistic. In any case, I'm telling the truth about the high school correlation between the movie, my cool friend, and the smoothie shop. They all sent me spiraling back into memory.
Memory is a marvelous and miraculous aspect of Being.
Memory strings together every word, letter, and thought to form a coherent piece of communication. All the parts coalesce into a meaningful whole, thereby giving otherwise arbitrary fragments a purposeful solidification and expression through language and narrative. Without memory, there is no story to tell, and no meaning to comprehend. In short, memory is vital to life and consciousness.
To remember is to give credence to the past, which means absorbing the past into the present, and also connecting the past to the future, effectively creating the Here and Now. Therefore: Past + Present + Future = Here & Now.
So, enlightenment isn't a blind forgetting or erasure of the past; enlightenment is a full integration of the past into the here and now. To the credit of Alcoholics Anonymous, they certainly try to reconcile the past by using the 12 Steps. Where I differ with AA is my contention that the past doesn't merely have to be viewed through a lens of morality (right vs. wrong), but can instead be considered within the context of cause and effect (i.e., which desires did we attach to which objects, and how can we effectively redirect our desire for transcendence to better means?).
Anyway, when I watched Chasing Amy at the end of the night, my emotions were stirred in a cathartic way. The film portrays the intimacy of a romantic relationship with touching, artistic transparency, and one of the main themes is how the characters must learn to cope with their shadowy past, especially in regards to sexuality. Ultimately, the resolution of the plot doesn't play out in typical, happy-ending fashion, but even so, there is plenty of wisdom and liberation to be gleaned from the conclusion. Besides that, the leading actress is very endearing and beautiful, so I would recommend the movie based on her alone. After all, is there anything better than the stunning radiance of the divine feminine? Not that I've found.
Fortunately, AYP presents sexuality in a very practical, non-esoteric way. The tantra lessons are simple and straightforward. All that is required is to apply the practices and principles according to one's personal inclinations.
But I digress.
The more sobriety and inner silence I get under my belt, the more that I find memory to be a priceless asset. The ability to salvage the past, and to peer backwards with a clear mind, is what catalyzes my future vision and ishta.
The higher power is in us.